Thread:NinjaClockworker/@comment-6192846-20131010142309

The big issues right now is the actual information. Wording like the Magic Kingdom's "near-destruction" needs ot be changed to the correct information. It was destroyed. Everything else is just polishing, otherwise. A few portions in the History section can be shortened and put more to the point, such as the entire exchange between Elluka and Irina is too detailed. It could be shortened to 1-2 sentences.

Summary would be important. You are writing this for the basic factual basis for events. Other than that, as I told you on chat last night, Venturing into Sin and The "Miracle" should be one section. Similarly, what is in Civilian Perception is either incorrect or should be in aftermath. Otherwise, it's coming along fine.

Big thing though: Facts and punctuality. Stuff like Elluka being blamed for the catastrophe among other should be corrected and much of this article can be shortened. 