Thread:Misstress of the heavenly yard/@comment-67.65.250.241-20131011002601

I really, really hope you don't take this the wrong way. I really don't. But I have some constructive criticism for this AU. Right now, as it is, it just... Doesn't really work past a surface level. I really, truly mean no offense on this, because I love AUs and I had high hopes for this one. It interested me at first. But all it seems to be is a bunch of name and color changes. There doesn't seem to be any thought put into it as far as the actual core personalities of the characters go. For instance, while I could see Michaela and Kyle in a role switch and think it would be interesting, there is literally no difference between them besides the sexes of them and their family. Michaela even wanted to be a painter just like Kyle! Meanwhile, Germaine and Clarith's switch makes absolutely no sense to me. I can't see Clarith as a confident leader and Germaine as self-depreciating as Clarith was, nor can I exactly picture Marlon's people discriminating against her for brown hair. If it were more her Beelzenian heritage, sure, but it's literally just her brown hair, it seems. At least with Clarith, it had more to do with her white hair being easy enough to single her out as a descendent of Venomania and Hakua. Not so with Germaine since she really only has characteristics that seem common to Beelzenia.

again, I really mean no harm and do really only aim to help. this AU just leaves me very confused because it doesn't seem to have much thought put into it beyond the surface when it has the potential to be a very deep and intricate one. You don't have to change anything, I just thought I'd offer some constructive criticism RE: the AU. /o\ 