Board Thread:News and Announcements/@comment-6986530-20140330193150

For anyone who cares--youdon'thavetoreaditifyoudon'twantto.

I'd like to first off apologize for my sudden and (kinda-) prolonged absence here. Some stupid stuff happened with my computer, and by a miracle I didn't lose my whole hard drive (still a little suspicious, though, it's not the first time it pulled this this kind of thing.) I did lose much of my apps and can't get to a majority of my stuff, but as I said last night that was my fault and I'm working on it.

Hhhhh, I also wanted to say something else and I've been hesitant about it, but here goes:

The short of it is that I'm leaving chat for a while, and for a lot of you--probably all of you--it's going to look very sudden and against a lot of things I've said before and I feel bad about that. Part of the problem is that Spring Break is over, this Trimester is looking especially rough for me, and I realize that even if I want to I can't prioritize school above hanging out online; that's what I did last trimester and the result wasn't good. It was the most stressed I've been in a long time.

Aside from that, another huge part of it is that for a couple of reasons that I don't think I should detail fully here, this too has become too stressful for me.

So many little things (and big things) have been happening there that are making me always anxious. I feel like I always have to account for myself, and I don't feel I have the freedom to come on and off, even if it's for something important. I feel sick to my stomach deciding to get on, I feel sick to my stomach deciding to get off, I get extremely anxious if I'm taken away from it before a certain time, or if I get disconnected--and with my crappy wireless connection I get disconnected a lot. Even my family has been commenting on me "getting worked up over nothing." It's not normal for me. I haven't been in a good place for the past few months.

I don't write anything but EC now, when I used to write on my own all the time, and even writing on EC has gotten more and more forced. My hand is always hurting. I feel lousy missing sleep every night. I have no appetite at school. I have heart palpitations. It's eating up my whole life and I just can't take that anymore.

It might be different later, but this is on top of a mountain of other stressors in my life right now, my classes mentioned above being a huge one. I have to take a step back, I'm sorry. I feel like right now it will have to be a big step back.

I don't want to hurt anyone with this. I'm sorry to those of you who put your trust in me to keep coming on and now I find that I can't live up to that.

I don't think I'll also be staying off the wiki all this time. When I have free time I still want to do edits or keep myself updated (and I want to complete all the reference checking I said I would.) I just want to stay away from any live chat for a while. I am sorry, I'm going to miss you guys. When I get everything in my life under control I will probably come back on.  